In My Ohio

​On My Adult Days

Darren C. Demaree
​On Tuesday, I woke up around 6:30am (5 of out 10 on the adult scale), got my son some apple juice (7/10), fed the dogs (4/10), and proceeded to make breakfast for the entire family (8/10).
While my wife buzzed around the house preparing for work, I checked my six work email accounts (7/10) and made sure my daughter had put actually put her lunch box in her book bag (8/10). We watched cartoons for ten to fifteen minutes (1/10) and then I changed my son’s diaper (7/10) and got him dressed for the day (6/10). After a while, I corralled both of them outside to walk to the school bus (7/10).
After we got Belle on the bus and on the way to kindergarten, Thomas and I walked home where he got to watch a video and I spent an hour and a half working on some poems (6/10). I sent some emails to literary magazines regarding my upcoming book (8/10), and Thomas did puzzles for a little while. Once I was done on the computer we took turns picking music videos on YouTube, while I worked out for an hour and a half (5/10).
Thomas and I made a picnic lunch together, so we could eat it on a blanket in the backyard (6/10). While Thomas was busy finishing his macaroni and cheese, I went inside to do all of the dishes from the day (7/10). He played for a bit longer outside while I cleaned the stovetop and swept/vacuumed the stairs to the basement (8/10).
Thomas drank some chocolate milk while we read books (7/10). I put him down for his nap (8/10), and went back downstairs to work on poems again for a while (7/10). He slept for two hours while I wrote and got on the elliptical for fifty minutes (7/10).
When he got up from his nap, we put on a pair of his new underwear and put in a few hours of potty training practice (9/10). He peed on the hardwood floor twice (1/10) and while he sat on his mini-potty in case any more needed to come out, I cleaned up the mess (9/10).
We walked to the bus stop to get Belle, and both of us were quiet while she told us an entire day’s worth of stories in one minute (7/10). We made it home with enough time for me to set them up with some play dough while I got some more writing done (8/10).
When I was done, Belle handed me a slip of paper confirming that my wife and I were now members of the Parent/Teacher Organization (10/10).
I grabbed a quick shower, got dressed, and ate an even quicker dinner (8/10) while Belle painted and Thomas attempted to destroy the upstairs by crashing dinosaurs into everything. When my wife got home, I kissed everyone goodbye (5/10), told them I loved them (7/10), and made sure I had my school badge in my pocket (8/10).
I went to school to teach for four hours (8/10), including an hour I had squeezed into the syllabus on protest writing (9/10).
I left for home around 10pm (9/10). Before I got home I went to the grocery store, because my wife was getting sick, and she didn’t have it in her to do it with the kids that night (9/10). I bought two weeks' worth of groceries in forty-five minutes (10/10), and made it home to unpack the groceries in a house where everyone else was sleeping (9/10). I checked on the sleeping kids in their beds, and made sure they were tucked in (7/10). I changed my clothes (3/10), and went downstairs to watch the new Mad Max movie while I checked my lineups for my WhatIfSports baseball teams for the next day (5/10). After checking Facebook and Twitter for thirty minutes I turned off the movie while Tom Hardy and Charlize Theron were deciding to make their way back through the canyon.
I got into bed next to my sick wife (8/10) around 1am, and fell asleep in after about one minute of doing the math in my head about many games the Cleveland Indians were going to need to win in the next three weeks to make the playoffs (3/10). I was too tired to do the math, so I settled on all of them, and went to sleep.