In My Ohio

On My Expectations for The First Half of Football Season 

Darren C. Demaree
I am ecstatic during my baseball season. It’s my favorite sport. I study Major League rosters, Minor League rosters, and I even watch some of the College World Series to prepare for the MLB draft. I watch the MLB draft on my computer and I pace the room like an expectant father every time the Cleveland Indians make a pick. I become more opinionated about national politics during the trade deadline, that’s the effect baseball has on me. If I didn’t willingly participate in other parts of society, surely baseball and poetry would be tagged as the reasons for a beard I would never, ever trim.
However, nobody wants to talk about baseball right now. Football season is starting, and most of the people in my life have the same look in their eyes that I have in late March, when the opening weekend of baseball season sneaks up on us. Football season doesn’t sneak up on anybody, because football season in the bully of all seasons. Well, I’m okay being bullied a bit, but I’m not all the way into it until the World Series has come and gone. I’ll watch the Browns and Buckeyes games when they’re on, I’ll listen to the national stories, but there is no way I will know who Oregon’s second-string quarterback is until November. I’ll be immersed in it at that point, but since I really won’t know what’s happening until then, I will assume the following will happen in the next two months.
1.) Alabama will destroy every team they play. Alabama football right now is like a young Pete Sampras. If he’s healthy, the only way he loses is in the finals, and he has to lose the match. You can’t beat him. He can only beat himself.
2.) Cleveland Browns QB, Brian Hoyer will get hurt Week 2.
3.) The Carolina Panthers will start the year 0-6.
4.) The College of Wooster will be 2-3. The College of Wooster loves to start the season 2-3.
5.) Florida State will lose one of their first four games.
6.) The Buckeyes will be undefeated, but they won’t score more than 28 points in any game.
7.) Ravens RB Ray Rice will return from his suspension and rush for less than three yards an attempt. These things have a way of working out the way they should.
8.) UCLA will very quickly become the #2 team in the country.
9.) The Cincinnati Bengals will be undefeated. You forgot about Geno Atkins, didn’t you, well, he’s back and quietly angry.
The best player in the NFL for the first two months will be Saints TE Jimmy Graham. 
Michigan will fire Brady Hoke by week five.
Things will start spinning quickly, as they never happen as predicted, but I feel pretty safe about those eleven things. I’ll be with you all in spirit, but the best parts of me will be living and dying with every Indian’s result until they make or miss the playoffs. So, until then, I hope your team does well, please let me know if I miss something really important.